The Truth About Pedicures

It's hard to knock a good strip-mall pedicure. Especially in San Diego where those toes almost always beg to be bared. But here are the problems I always run into:
1. They're expensive, running close to $40;
2. They take a long time, close to an hour;
3. You're lucky if after all that they last more than a week;
4. The dead-skin-sloughing is unbearably ticklish, for me anyway;
5. The massage is kind of painful, particularly when they get going on the shins;
6. That generic pink lotion doesn't smell very good and makes me itch;
7. You have to deal with all the upselling; AND
8. There's the ever-present risk of getting infected by a communal cuticle cutter.
Now I can't dispense with these establishments entirely because I'm hopeless at painting my own nails (think a 2-year-old and a coloring book-- what lines?). But from what I can tell there's no fine art to exfoliation and no substitute for a spousal foot-rub. So recently I've been opting for a pedicure alternative that I'll call . . . . . . the pedi-polish. As in, just ask them to polish your toenails. It costs 8 bucks ($10 with a tip), takes 15 minutes, and the results are more than satisfactory. Kind of life-changing when you really think about it.